He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
