No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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