so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
