we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize