addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
As shirtless as possible
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize