his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
