Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
