hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize