Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
