so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I supernannyed him into submission
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