i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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