love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
