When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
