And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize