Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
