You work out of a Hotel?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
