Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
