We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
