Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
