yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
