you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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