let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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