and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
