Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
