he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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