Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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