I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize