im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
