Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
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im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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