At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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