Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
