hell yes lets make some ravioli
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
