Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
