would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
