if i can run in heels then i can drive
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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