one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize