Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
