I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
