In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
