Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
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I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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