i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
