dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
