There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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