Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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