Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize