coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
