Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
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Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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