so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The adults are the big ones right?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
