You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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