what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
