i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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