You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.