I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize