That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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