Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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