Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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