Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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