hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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